Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.

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(913): View more from Kansas

If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.

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(813): View more from Florida

She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.

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(233): View more from

I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love

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