You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
