Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
