1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
