i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
