i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
