i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Mom said you looked used
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
