at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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