when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
