It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
