I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
