i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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