i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
