Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
