my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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