Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
