dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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