Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
