If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
