well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The struggles of a small town man whore
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
