There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
