i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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