So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
