she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
