there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
