If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
