what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
