You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
