Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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