did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I died a long time ago.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
