AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
