I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
