she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I party with great urgency now.
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