hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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