Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
