wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
