belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
