Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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