Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
