Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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