She announced her abortion via fbk
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
