I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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