Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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