Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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