girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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