Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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