you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
