Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
