can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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