what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
