I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
