I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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