So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
